


Two Exes on Mars

by staristired



Category: Andi Mack (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Breakup Fic, M/M, Tyrus - Freeform, will have a lot of ocs because of college
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-31
Updated: 2019-08-26
Packaged: 2020-07-27 18:15:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,795
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20050423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/staristired/pseuds/staristired
Summary: TJ breaks up with Cyrus before they go to college and now that they are in college, they realize their lives will always be connected even in different states (of US soil and of mind).





	1. The Script

**Author's Note:**

> Canon Andi Mack lore states that Shadyside is part of a fictional US state called Midwest so I guess there's 51 states in the AM Universe.

He kissed him goodbye. It wasn’t even rainy or cloudy outside, much less foggy. It was super bright and sunny, and Cyrus could hear every single bird in Shadyside chirping as his now ex-boyfriend walked out the front door of his house. He waited until TJ was out of his driveway to shut the door and break out in tears, pressing his forehead and fist against his door.

_Why? _he wondered. _Why? Why? Why?_

But he knew why. He knew why TJ had let him go in the worst breakup in the world. He had tried to a week ago which led to Cyrus breaking down in front of him and ended up with them back together. But the tension between them was so obviously, and it lead to TJ’s horrible mood swings and random outbursts he never apologized for. It made Cyrus feel like crap. Then in the middle of the week, TJ tried breaking up with him over text. Cyrus ignored it, and TJ went over to his house the next day like nothing had happened. Not even three days later, TJ came over to break up him a third time. For good.

That just happened two minutes ago, and Cyrus silently let him leave this time. He shouldn’t have ever let him see him cry.

“You have to go to California, Cyrus,” TJ had told him, his eyes red and his hands clenching into tight fists. All Cyrus could do was stare at the floor. It’s not everyday you get a chance to go to USC, but it also meant leaving everyone you loved behind- including TJ. Him and TJ had been together since the 8th grade, and he had included TJ in all of his future plans. For him, being in a long distance relationship was a possibility, and he never thought TJ would be against it.

“I want to go to MSU,” Cyrus shook his head, refusing to look at him. TJ was going to MSU on a basketball scholarship, and yeah, they had a theatre and screenwriting, but it wasn’t USC. It was one of the hardest choices Cyrus had to make.

“You’re clearly lying, Cyrus,” TJ let out a frustrated sigh, “I know when you’re lying.” It’s true, he did. His hands always instinctively went inside a pocket, and Cyrus has never been able to stop it. “Cyrus. I know I’m the main reason why you want to stay in Midwest, but I want you to go to USC. It’s what you want.”

“Does that mean we have to break up, though?” Cyrus asked him sadly, his voice quiet. TJ ran his fingers through his blonde hair and let out a deep breath.

“We’d be doing long distance for four years, Cyrus. I don’t want to hold you back from being at your prime if you’re moping around missing me the entire time.”

“Are you just saying this because you’re the one that’s not going to be fine?” There wasn’t even a pause.

“Yes, Cyrus!” TJ said loudly, startling Cyrus. “I can’t spend four years of my life being sad because I miss you all the time, but I also can’t live with the guilt I’m going to feel if you don’t go to USC. This entire situation is driving me insane, and I really think breaking up is the best way to go.”

“You honestly think that?” Cyrus frowned, looking right up at him. He didn’t want to break down like he did the first time. “You’re just giving up? Not even giving long distance a try. After five years, TJ?”

TJ shamefully looked away before saying, “I love you, Cyrus. But I think it’d hurt less to let you go.”

“How?” Cyrus’ voice started to tremble as he spoke in complete disbelief, “How can you even say you love me right now?” TJ didn’t say anything. He just slowly walking up to Cyrus, each step taking its own time before cupping his face in his hands and kissing him softly.

TJ pulled away, whispering, “Bye, Cyrus.”

Cyrus was now sitting on his bedroom floor, playing music louder than his occasional sob. Andi and Buffy were on their way, but until then, it was him, and a lone polaroid picture he had of him and TJ on their first Valentine’s Day together right in front of him. Him and TJ were sitting on one side of the booth at The Spoon while Marty and Buffy sat on the other side. TJ had his arms around him and was smiling in to his cheek, leaving a very fluttered Cyrus to be captured forever.

“Cyrus!” someone yelled out from downstairs. “We’re here.”

“Upstairs!” Cyrus yelled out, his voice slightly cracking. He hadn’t spoken since TJ left, and his throat hurt. He was glad he left the door unlocked for them because he didn’t have the energy to move.

Andi peaked her head through his bedroom door, frowning when she saw him, “Hi, Cyrus.”

“Hey,” Cyrus waved, “come in.” He hadn’t seen Andi in about three weeks was she was getting busy with her senior art project for SAVA. He loved her for being here during a busy time. Buffy trailed in behind Andi with two loaded grocery bags.

“We brought ice cream and pie,” Buffy held the bags up. “We stopped by your kitchen to get utensils.”

“Thank you because I was not going to move,” Cyrus said. Andi and Buffy sat down on each side of him and rested their heads on his shoulder.

“You can cry if you want,” Andi told him.

“Yeah,” Buffy agreed, “we bought three tissue boxes.”

“I’ve been crying for like an hour, and I’m just tired of it at this point. But this is also probably just the start,” Cyrus mumbled. “How am I supposed to accept that someone I talked to everyday for five years is leaving my life?”

“I know it hurts, Cyrus,” Buffy whispered. “But you’re stronger than you think. You’re going to get through this. Trust me. I’m always right.”

“I know you are,” Cyrus smiled slightly. “You know what sucks the most though?”

“What?” they asked in unison.

“We already have matching tuxedos from prom.”  
-

Cyrus and TJ showed up with new tuxedos to prom. Andi herself made Cyrus a brand new one. The according to different sources, both Cyrus and TJ had both begged Gus to cancel their Prom Court nomination. Gus thought it was funny until Buffy stepped in, and he got scared.

Cyrus and TJ didn’t sit together at lunch anymore or do homework together or visit the swing sets every Tuesday after TJ got out of tutoring. Cyrus submitted his paperwork to attend USC in the fall and according to Amber who was at Shadyside’s community college, TJ was going to go to MSU to play for their basketball team. Buffy and Marty would be seeing him at MSU seeing they got track scholarships.

Cyrus cried every night for the rest of the school year after finishing his homework because he worked to hard to have his GPA suffer over a boy who clearly didn’t care if he fell apart. He sometimes sat in the bathtub and let music fill his whole bathroom and no matter what, every single song would remind him of TJ. Of course, that was his fault for playing the playlists TJ had made him on Spotify. He wondered if he could see that he was listening to them. He hoped he did.

Cyrus didn’t have any communication with TJ since the last texts he sent him. It was a 2AM on a Saturday night, about three weeks since the breakup. He felt horrible and didn’t know how to stop crying. Even though Buffy had told him to call him whenever, he couldn’t keep dumping everything on her.

**Cyrus: **hey tj I hope im not waking u up idk if you still have your phone set so that u only get text alerts from me but I just wanted to say that I miss you.

**Cyrus: **I miss you so much tj idk what to do without you. Everything hurts all the time and I just want to talk to you and hear you voice even if we cant date anymore please talk to me. Please be my friend again tj we were best friends for 5 years we work so good together

**Cyrus: **I love you. I think that ill always be in love with you.

**TJ: **Goodnight Underdog.

Cyrus didn’t remember what time he went to sleep, but he felt like he cried for hours after that. The pain in his chest beat him up completely until he was too weak to flip his pillow to the dry side.

At their graduation, Cyrus gave a speech and then walked off stage to everyone in the auditorium clapping. It felt surreal. When he looked up smiling, out of all of the people he saw in the sea of graduates, he saw TJ clapping. He had his lip curled up in one corner which showed that he was on the verge of tears. That was the only time that night Cyrus wanted to cry.

-

A month into USC and without a doubt, Cyrus was homesick and probably depressed. He had made a great group of friends that were similar to him and super positive. He appreciated them, but 8 out of 10 times, they could never convince him to leave his room. He just stayed in and did homework and work on his script. It was about a man who gets his heart shattered and decided to move to Mars as part of a science experiment and when he’s already in space, he realize that his ex is one of the 100 people on board. Things quickly escalate. His friends loved the scripts and always asked to read updates, but he still sent snippets to Bex because he missed her.

It had been months since the breakup with TJ that happened late April. He should be over it now, he thought a lot of the time. But it still hurt. TJ really shot a hole in his heart and there was nothing he could do about it. He didn’t cry everyday like he used to. But every other few weeks, he snuck into the bathroom to cry so his roommate wouldn’t see. It was embarrassing to admit.

Cyrus kept things in a rotation. Script, class, eat, homework, sometimes friends, and sleep. It was hard to stay happy and to enjoy himself. It was hard to feel like he was living through something when he’s been dead inside for months. With Halloween coming up, he felt even worse. He’s never not had anyone to match costumes with. For five years, him and TJ did a couple’s costume and before that, him, Buffy, and Andi always had something up their sleeves. He missed all of them.

Then one day, his roommate let one of his friends into their dorm room. His roommate was part of his friend group, so there was that. Cyrus was working on his infamous script and didn’t even get a text that he was coming. Usually, he said no, though. “Hey, Rich,” Cyrus said as he walked in.

“Hey, Cy,” he said. “I was in the building and wanted to drop by.”

“Why’d you text Karson and not me?” Cyrus asked. 

“You always say no.”

“True. Anyways, what’s up?”

“We need one more person for our Halloween costume. It’s _Full House._ We need an Uncle Jesse. You in?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus grinned, “of course.”

-

“Damn,” his friend Bogie said. “That TJ foo fucked you up bad, huh?” All eight of them were sitting around a bonfire before Thanksgiving break. It had been a long night of confessions and telling each other things not a lot of other people knew. Somehow in the moment, Cyrus spent thirty minutes telling them the becoming and downfall of him and TJ. Rich had convinced him to go to therapy on campus early November, and Cyrus wished he had gone sooner. It was getting so much easier to be around his friends and have open conversations.

“Yeah,” Cyrus admitted. “I cried everyday for months. I still cry sometimes.”

“Is that why you spend forever in the bathroom?” Karson asked him. Cyrus nodded.

“Damn, Cy,” Roxana mumbled, “no wonder you were so distant at the beginning of the school year. I thought you were just stuck up, but I guess I was wrong. I’m glad you trust us now, though.”

“Me, too,” Cyrus said.

“So, this TJ,” Bogie asked, “what’s he up to?”

“Besides knowing that he plays basketball for Midwest State U, I have no idea. I haven’t talked to him since I last texted him after the breakup. I’m still good friends with his sister, but she never says anything.”

“Dang, so he’s a baller?” Bogie asked.

“Probably just getting fucked up at parties,” Mikhenna suggested. Cyrus didn’t respond. He just shrugged.

“Do you still love him?” Roxana asked him.

“I don’t think so,” Cyrus shook his head. “I’d be stupid to. But thanks for listening, guys. I feel a lot better. I feel like I belong and that I can finally move on.”

-

Cyrus didn’t see the point of flying all the way back home for a week long break, so he decided to stay behind in California and take a train to his aunt and uncle’s place. They had a daughter that thirteen and always had juicy middle school drama.

When he was laying down on the bed of the guest room, his phone started vibrating. Buffy was on Facetime, and he answered immediately saying, “Hey, Buff.”

“Hey, Cyrus,” Buffy grinned widely before switching the camera, “look who’s with me!”

Andi waved at the camera, “Hey, Cyrus!”

“Andi,” Cyrus grinned. “How are you? We haven’t talked in like four days.”

“I know right,” Andi laughed. “I’m fine. What about you?”

“I’m good, I’m good,” he said before registering completely that Andi was in Shadyside. “Wait,” he paused, “aren’t you supposed to be in Pennsylvania?”

“Yeah but a professor died, so they gave us two weeks off instead of three days and just postponed winter break.”

“Oh, I’m sorry.”

“I have no idea who he is,” Andi shrugged. “But where are you?”

“With my dad’s sister and her family. I’m just chilling and eating home made food before I go back,” Cyrus smiled. Andi moved over to sit next to Buffy and Cyrus noted that they were at the Mack’s place.

“So enough of that,” Buffy said and then looked at Andi who gave her a stern look. “Come on, let me tell him.”

“Well now you have to tell him,” Andi rolled his eyes.

“That’s very true,” Cyrus agreed.

“I know,” Buffy smirked. “That’s why I said that. Anyways,” she looked right at the camera, “we went to the mall with Amber in her car, but it broke down in the parking lot when we were leaving. She had to call TJ to come pick us up, which was already awkward enough because I always ignore him at school, but I was like whatever, it’s a twenty minute drive. Then in the car, literally, this man, I mean, boy, can ask any question. Any question in the world. Preferably, one directed at his sister, like you know, has your car been acting funky for a while? But he asks me and Andi, ‘How is Cyrus doing?’” Cyrus’ heart dropped. He hasn’t heard anything about TJ in so long he’s forgotten how to react.

“What did you say?” Cyrus asked nervously.

“I said that I charge $50 per fact,” Buffy said, “and he didn’t say anything else.”

“That’s weird,” Cyrus frowned. “I wonder why he doesn’t just ask Amber. I literally call her once a week, every Tuesday.”

“No idea,” Buffy said. “But maybe she just doesn’t answer him for the same reasons I didn’t.”

“Which are?”

“We love you.”


	2. The Thrill of Breakfast for Dinner

Amber walked into TJ’s bedroom that night asking, “What was that about?”

“What was what about?” TJ asked her, looking up from his desktop. He wasn’t even covering the fact that he was looking at picture of Cyrus. Amber sighed and walked over behind him as he kept clicking.

“Why did you ask Buffy about Cyrus?”

“Because you won’t tell me about Cyrus.”

“It’s not my place. I worked hard to build my relationship with Cyrus, and I wasn’t going to let you throw it away.”

“I just want to know if he’s okay. You won’t even give me that much,” TJ sighed, clicking through Hanukah photos.

“Why do you even want to know, TJ?” Amber asked him. She’s always been mad at TJ for dumping Cyrus, no doubt. Especially because they both still loved each other. “You completely broke his heart.”

TJ didn’t say anything before whispering, “I’m sure he’s fine now.”

“You don’t know that, actually,” Amber said, angry at her brother. Talking about Cyrus always led to both of them fighting or both of them crying. He couldn’t guess where this was going to lead to.

“Because you won’t tell me,” TJ reminded her, continuing to click through New Years Eve photo. It was Their sophomore year of high school when someone had taken a picture of them kiss. It was one of the many pictures that broke his ribcage and punched his heart.

“You don’t deserve to know, TJ,” Amber rolled her eyes, sitting down on his bed. TJ knew this was going to take a while.

“I still think of him every day. I don’t even know if I’ve gotten any better. I somehow always hope that I could run into him at MSU or see his face when I’m walking through Shadyside during visits, but I haven’t seen him since graduation.”

“He’s in California living his best life.”

“So he’s happy there?” TJ asked her, turning to look at her. There was a photo of Cyrus with their late cat Macaroni on his lap on his screen currently.

“I wouldn’t know,” Amber shrugged.

“Don’t you still talk to him like once a week?” TJ asked her, frowning. “Why won’t you tell me, Amber?”

“I already said that it’s not my place, TJ,” Amber said. “If Cyrus wanted you to know how he’s doing, he’d respond to your messages that you are too scared to send.”

“You can’t just text your ex out of the blue and ask how they’re doing Amber,” TJ rolled his eyes.

“Me and Jonah are literally best friends,” Amber rolled her eyes more dramatically to mock him.

“That happened years ago, though.”

“Okay then,” Amber crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow, “wait years.” TJ glared at her before going back to his desktop, continuing to go through photos. He found one of him and Cyrus at the swings. Andi took them on a weekend she came down to visit, so they looked professional. TJ printed a few of the pictures from this day out, and they were currently in a box in the attic of his home.

“I think I made a mistake, Amber,” TJ sighed, once he landed on his all time favorite photo. It was him and Cyrus at junior prom, slow dancing in their matching tuxedos. His eyes teared up just looking at it.

“I know you did, TJ,” Amber remorselessly said. “I don’t know how you thought breaking up was going to hurt less than doing long distance.”

“Is it always going to hurt?” TJ asked her, staring at other prom photos.

“Considering you let go of the guy who was probably your soulmate, yeah. It will.”

* * *

Winter break came along Cyrus was finally back in Shadyside. Amber was literally holding TJ hostage in his room, not letting him leave. She stood below his chin, but his fear of hurting her was the only reason why he just didn’t barge past her.

“You are not leaving this house, Tom Jacob,” she said, holding her arms out.

“First of all, it’s not that,” TJ rolled his eyes, “second of all, I’m not going to go see Cyrus.”

“Do you take me for a fool, Thomas Jose?” Amber scoffed, looking up to give him a dirty look. TJ didn’t bother to look at her. He kept his head looking up as she continued to scold him, “You have made no attempt to leave this house the entire four days you’ve been here, but you hear me, on a _private _phone call with Cyrus that he’s going to come back home today and all of the sudden, you shower?”

“I shower every day, Amber.”

“You know that’s not my point, Tyler Jackson!”

“You don’t remember what TJ stands for, do you?” TJ asked her, still not making eye contact.

“Of course not,” Amber told him. “But still, you’re not leaving this house to go crush all the progress you and Cyrus have made.”

“I just want to have a conversation with him, Amber,” TJ said, trying to blink away the tears that were forming before she noticed. That would be terrible.

“About what? ‘Oh hi, Cyrus,’” Amber started to mock his voice, “’I just wanted to see how you were doing after I got your heart and dragged it through the dirt!’”

“Okay, Amber!” TJ yelled and look at her. “That’s enough.” Amber and him looked each other in the eye, and Amber was clearly trying to figure out if he was tearing up. TJ wasn’t exactly a sensitive person but certain topics like Cyrus let the waterworks unscrew.

Amber didn’t say anything else before making her way out of the room and saying, “If you want to see him, at least text him first. Give him the option to say no.”

His door shut close and TJ laid back on his bed, rubbing his face roughly. He didn’t have Cyrus on social media anymore, and he had his number still, but he doesn’t know if it’s changed or if Cyrus blocked it. He hasn’t texted him since that one time he replied to him saying goodnight. Out of all of the nights since the breakup, that was the worst one. He still loved him with his entire being that night. He probably still did.

TJ took out his phone and looked for _Cyrus Goodman_. He’s been wanting to this for months, but he still didn’t know what to say.

**TJ: **Hey

_That’s it? _TJ wondered. _Hey is all I can say after all I did?_

**TJ: **I know this is out of the blue. I just wanted to know how you’re doing.

For almost an hour, TJ laid in his bed, listening to music. Spotify was really the only social media type of thing he had Cyrus on, and he often saw that he would listen to music they had dance parties to or napped to. It was how he knew Cyrus was feeling and boy, was he often listening to his sad music playlist.

**Cyrus: **I’m fine. I just got home.

TJ’s heart beat went out of control. He didn’t know if he was going to get a text back, but he also didn’t plan for what to do with himself if he replied. He didn’t even know what he wanted out of this conversation. He wanted Cyrus, but he wasn’t sure what side of Cyrus.

**TJ: **Glad you’re home safe.

TJ couldn’t think of anything else to say.

**Cyrus: **Are you home too or??

**TJ: **Ya I’ve been in Shadyside for a few days already.

**Cyrus: **What have you been doing this whole time?

**TJ: **Nothing tbh. I’ve just been home.

**Cyrus: **Want to do something?

TJ did not think this was going to happen. TJ did not think Cyrus would even ask to see him. He was wondering if Andi and Buffy were coaching him text at that very moment. _No. Buffy would kill both of us before we ever met up. What is Cyrus thinking?_

**TJ: **They need help passing out toys in West Shadyside at the Elk’s tonight at 6. I volunteered. You wanna come with or do something else later? I figure you’re tired.

**Cyrus: **No that sounds fun I’m down

**TJ:** Okay I’ll pick you up at 5:30.

**Cyrus: **See you then

* * *

TJ had three hours to get out of bed and get ready, but he didn’t move until he only had thirty minutes let before having to pick up Cyrus. He also didn’t want Amber to see him, either, so he waited for her 5PM nap. He really couldn’t lie to her now.

He got out of bed and dressed himself in clothes that have been sitting in his closet for a while. While changing, he recognized a white shirt hanging up with a T-Rex on it and realized that was one of Cyrus’ favorite shirts. He had wanted to give him back that and a few other things after the breakup, but he never found it in him to go to him. He felt like he would just succumb and beg him to take him back. He still had no idea what was going to happen when they sat in the car for a while.

TJ grabbed the shirt before heading downstairs and going to his car. He might have not been at Cyrus’ in a while, but he definitely had the route stitched in his heart. His heart pounded faster and faster in his chest as he approached the house where so much happened. He had been wanting this for roughly 8 months, but he never thought to prepare himself.

He pulled up to the driveway and before he could text him, Cyrus was already walking to his car. Everything on the inside and outside of his body burned. And he felt like throwing up. But at the same time, he wanted to kiss him hello. TJ unlocked the car and Cyrus sat inside, the tension rising above what they were used to.

“Hey, Cyrus,” TJ said, failing to sound as casual as possible.

“Thelonius,” Cyrus said. TJ couldn’t help but let out a sharp laugh as he pulled out of the drive way. “How’s MSU?”

“Fun. Exhausting. College basketball was fun in theory, but it drains me. I get a math tutor for every assignment I have to do. It’s a little embarrassing.”

“I don’t think it’s embarrassing. You’re going to school for free to do what you love, and this is just a small part of it.”

“I guess you’re right,” TJ told Cyrus as they passed by a park they would have dates at. It looked so shady at night with its flickering lights and thin blanket of snow. “How’s California?”

“I like it there,” Cyrus said. “I’m glad I went.” TJ’s heart felt a weird pang, and he didn’t like it.

TJ whispered, “Me, too.”

“Their theatre program is great, and I get to do a lot of writing. Still don’t know if I’m more journalism or screenwriting, though.”

“Still planning on doing a script about society on mars?”

“I’m halfway done with it. I’m thinking a two hour movie? Hopefully I use it as my senior thesis.”

“Really?” TJ smiled. Cyrus had been wanting to write a script about Mars for the longest time, he was just always busy. “I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Teej,” Cyrus said softly. It made TJ’s heart melt and if they had still been together, he’s positive he would’ve pulled over right now and proposed to him. “So why did you volunteer?”

“Amber and I were going to do it together because we would get toys from here when we were little, but she’s mad at me right now, so yeah,” TJ said, shrugging slightly.

“Why is she mad?”

“I kept asking questions about you, and she told me to just ask you myself.”

“Which you did.”

“I did. She does not know I’m with you right now actually. I don’t think she would’ve let me leave the house if she knew I was coming to pick you up.”

“Why?” Cyrus chuckled.

“I don’t know. I think she feels the need to protect you.” Cyrus sighed, and TJ knew he rolled his eyes without looking at him.

“Everyone thinks I need protecting like in middle school. I can take care of myself, thank you very much.”

“I know, Cyrus. You’ve always been able to.”

* * *

After handing out toys to over 300 kids in Shadyside, TJ and Cyrus walked out of the event, shoulders touching. TJ knew this was the most dangerous game to play, but he’s never exactly been anti-adrenaline. He wondered what Cyrus was thinking the whole night because according to a few words he said, Buffy and Andi had told him to ignore his text message completely.

“Want to go get a breakfast dinner?” TJ asked him as he unlocked the car. Out of habit, he opened the door for Cyrus who got in without saying anything.

“Take me there,” Cyrus said before shutting the door. TJ got in the car before taking off to a diner nearby. It was barely 9PM.

“Do you still have a curfew?” TJ asked him.

“Honestly,” Cyrus turned to look at him, “I have no idea. I just told my parents I’d be back without saying where or with who I was going. They haven’t texted me. Is this adulthood?”

“Probably.”

“Where are we going?”

“Jo Anne’s.”

“Wow. I haven’t been there in maybe two years?”

“Really? Me and Amber go eat there all the time when I’m down here.”

“How often do you come home?”

“At least once a month since school started. I’d come over every weekend if I could, but basketball hasn’t really let me. Maybe next semester I might. I got Fridays off, so I could just come Thursday afternoons.”

“Isn’t it a two hour drive to and from?”

“An hour and a half if you take the cuts. Less if there’s nobody else and you speed a little.”

“You’re going to get pulled over one day.”

“It’s fine,” TJ told him, grinning.

“Okay, but don’t say I didn’t tell you so when you’re in jail,” Cyrus looked over at him and gave him a smile. They were walking like they did when they were dating. Why did he let him go so easily? He wanted to lean over and kiss him so bad.

When they got to the diner, they sat across from each other. The waitress brought TJ a coffee and Cyrus a hot cocoa, promising that their orders would be ready in less than 20. TJ’s leg was dancing up and down while Cyrus sat calmly across from his, his hands folded on top of the table while he looked out the window.

“Why did you break up with me?” Cyrus asked quietly.

“Cyrus,” TJ whispered, feeling his heart rip in two.

“I just want to know the real reason, TJ,” Cyrus looked at him. “The real reason.”

“There is no real reason,” TJ shook his head. “Just what I told you when we broke up.”

“Was it worth it for you at least?” Cyrus asked him. TJ bit his lip and looked down at his coffee as if it would tell him how to say.

“No,” TJ looked up at him and frowned. Without thinking it twice, he confessed, “I still love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not sure if I want to wrap this up with a less angsty ending next chapter with what I have or keep going, make it sadder, and end it in 4. Hmmm.  
Thank you for reading btw ily


	3. The Same Love

Cyrus wasn’t sure if he was hearing correctly. If TJ had just told him he still loved him, he had no idea what to do with himself or his body at this point. His soul on the other hand, was halfway to space and it was not coming the fuck back.

“What?” was all Cyrus could say. He scratched the inside of the palm of his hands with his finger nails to make sure he was real. This was not going as planned. He had come to get a little closure and instead, he got another door to walk through.

“I still love you,” TJ said softly, “Cyrus.”

“TJ,” Cyrus whispered, running his fingers through his hair. He didn’t know what to say.

“It’s okay if you’ve gotten over me, Cyrus,” TJ said, looking him straight in the eye, “you just asked if it was worth it and,” TJ sighed, a fake chuckle caught in between his teeth, “no. It wasn’t.” Cyrus wanted to think the whole situation was funny, justifying that almost laugh, but his heart knew he was in for some deep shit. The two sat there in silence, Cyrus sat with his hands folded staring at TJ who was now looking out the window. Was he looked for a shooting star to wish them out of this awkward situation? Because Cyrus was going to have to steal it to wish for some truth juice. He had no idea what he felt or what he wanted to say.

“Here is the food,” the waitress came, dropping off the waffles and pancakes in front of them.

“Thank you,” Cyrus told her before she walked away. TJ hadn’t moved a muscle. Cyrus felt hungry for the first time that night, and he was sure it was because he had developed the habit of stress eating in California. Not the best way to channel stress and anxiety, but it was better than him sleeping the days away in his dorm. Only right now, he couldn’t dig a hole in his waffle while his ex confessed his love for him in front of him. What would that even mean for the both of them?

“I don’t what else to say,” TJ admitted, breaking the silence.

“Me either,” Cyrus quickly sighed. His stomach was rumbling out of nowhere. “I just,” Cyrus gave up and reached for the syrup, “I don’t know how I feel about you, TJ. I spent so long crying every single night for you because I felt like I did something wrong, and I had so many other people tell me constantly that I didn’t do anything wrong.”

TJ butt in, “Because you didn’t. I just couldn’t handle the idea of doing a long distance relationship with someone I’ve basically seen every day for five years.”

“We didn’t have to see each other every day to talk to each other, TJ,” Cyrus frowned. It was starting to hurt. He took a bite of his waffle. It was definitely an inappropriate time to tell TJ how delicious it was and that he was thankful he took him there. He had no idea how words were going to come out his mouth. “I think what hurt the most was _that_. Not being able to talk to you. Not knowing if you were okay,” Cyrus slowly brought his fork down and realized he was starting to cry, “I couldn’t even call you after you won your first college basketball game. After you made your first point. I couldn’t know how your math class was going or if you were taking one. I couldn’t tell you about all the friends I made and their Californian accents. I couldn’t tell you the Buffy and Marty drama. I couldn’t go over what stupid thing Jonah said to Amber. You were my best friend, TJ, and I lost you when I loved you the most- when I was making one of the hardest choices of my life.” TJ now had his face in his hand, propping his head up as he stared out the window also with watery eyes. Cyrus didn’t know how he kept rambling for so long without taking a bite from the waffle. He dug his fork back in and started to eat again.

“I’ve made a lot of stupid choices, Cyrus-”

“Yeah,” Cyrus agreed, making TJ laugh a little.

“But letting you go was definitely the worst.”

-

They pulled up to the Goodman’s driveway in silence, Cyrus’ playlist filling the space of TJ’s car. It wasn’t weird, really. They continued the rest of dinner talking about school and friends like TJ had never said anything about love. They were good, Cyrus thought.

“I have something for you,” TJ said. “It’s in the back seat.” TJ started getting out of the car.

“Hanukah isn’t until next week,” Cyrus told him, amused.

“It’s nothing new,” TJ told him, shutting the driver’s seat. Cyrus got off and walked to the other side of the car where TJ was. “Ugh,” TJ said, moving duffel bags to the side, “it was back here.” TJ pushed everything from that seat to the side and sat down, leaning down to look on the floor. “Found it,” he said, pulling up a familiar shirt. Cyrus smiled and TJ held it out to him.

“My T-Rex shirt,” Cyrus said softly, taking it. “I thought you burned it.”

TJ laughed, “I didn’t burn anything.”

“How many of my things do you have?”

“Everything you ever left at my place. Any pictures. I have all of it,” TJ told him honestly. TJ reached out his hand to Cyrus, and Cyrus looked at it, not knowing what to do. His mind couldn’t think correctly anymore, and his heart seemed to be failing him. He didn’t know how to trust his gut at that moment. “I really do love you, Cyrus. Always will.” Cyrus took the hand and TJ pulled him in the car, scooting over so he could sit next to him. They were squished together with all the random things in the backseat of TJ’s cars, and Cyrus could feel TJ’s breath on his cheek as he squeezed the shirt tightly in one hand and felt TJ’s thumb caress the other. Cyrus knew what was going to happen if he turned his head to look at TJ. But he shut the door himself and leaned in to kiss TJ, melting into his lips.

-

Two days had gone by of seeing TJ everyday behind everyone’s back. If Buffy and Andi wanted to hang out, he said he was with family. If his family asked where he was going, he said with Buffy and Andi. Two days wasn’t enough for them to get suspicious, but he didn’t know what was going on with TJ and needed to figure that out first. Of course, either way, Buffy would be so disappointed in him. He didn’t even know if he was disappointed with himself anymore.

Being with TJ didn’t feel different. It’s like they were picking up where they left off. Only Cyrus couldn’t say I love you to him. He hadn’t found the moment to know if he still loved him. He loved being with him. He loved stealing another one of his hoodies for the first time in forever. He loved his scent of fancy cologne. He loved making out with him in hidden places like when they were sophomores in high school. Everything felt familiar, but it didn’t mean it was boring. He hadn’t felt this excitement since the breakup. Thinking about TJ used to hurt. Now, it brightens him up.

Cyrus and TJ laid on the floor of Cyrus’ room, letting the TV screen play random episodes of _Friends _as they talked about their friends from school.

“You got yourself in a big friend group, didn’t you,” TJ told Cyrus, running his fingers through Cyrus’ hair. Cyrus missed that feeling.

“I’m honestly surprised I did,” Cyrus said. “Well, my roommate knew like two of them and then people just starting hopping in during class and then there was a group chat.”

“Once there’s a group chat, there’s no going back, huh,” TJ laughed. When TJ and Cyrus had first started dating, TJ got added in a group chat with the rest of them and that’s how they all became friends.

“Nope,” Cyrus said. “I hope I get to hang out with them more this semester. I ditched them a lot before we had a come to Earth moment before Thanksgiving.”

“Cyrus,” TJ’s mouth fell open, speaking in a genuinely concerned voice, “did you get high?” Cyrus snorted immediately and laughed at TJ’s face as it fell down into a smile. “Cyrus, I’m serious.”

“I didn’t,” Cyrus laughed hard, holding his stomach. “But you,” Cyrus cackled, “thinking that about me is just so funny.” TJ laughed with him, holding him tightly in his arms as if he’d roll away.

“Well you said come to Earth moment, and I wouldn’t know what that means,” TJ said as Cyrus’ laugh got quieter.

“Well I mean that we sat around a bonfire and spilled our life to each other.”

“Mmm, I see,” TJ said going back to running his fingers through Cyrus’ hair as the show’s laugh track played in the background. Cyrus hadn’t felt at ease like this in a while. He reached his hand up and placed is on TJ’s cheek about his head, feeling his cheek. “I’m sorry, Cyrus.”

“For what?” Cyrus asked him. He had been saying sorry for two days, but he didn’t know for what exactly.

“For not even giving long distance a try. For being a coward about it.”

“It’s fine, TJ.”

“I don’t think it is,” TJ said, putting his hand over Cyrus’ as it rest on his face. “You’re over here telling me you’ve been falling apart still because of the breakup that happened months ago and honestly, me, too.”

“Break ups happen, TJ,” Cyrus said softly, “and they hurt. Who knows? Maybe we would’ve broke up in college either way.” Cyrus’ heart hurt. He had TJ right here, but he still didn’t have him. It was at that moment that Cyrus realized that it was temporary and that he was going to go back to missing him again. The moment of peace disappeared.

“I just miss you so much,” TJ said, lacing his fingers with Cyrus’. “I want to be with you.” TJ whispered, “I love you.” Cyrus pulled his hand away from TJ and sat up, turning to look at the boy on the floor. His green eyes were glossy with sentiment. He really turned a stone hearted jock with 50 walls into a sentimental jock who knew how to express his feelings. It was his biggest accomplishment. He scanned TJ’s face. His nose, his lips, his eyebrows. The tiny freckles weren’t as present in the Winter, but he knew they were under his skin. He loved them. He loved TJ.

“I think I still love you, too, TJ,” Cyrus said, TJ sitting up and pressing his forehead against the other boy’s. “And I want to be with you again,” he whispered into his lips, “but right now, it’s weird. I think I need a few days.”

“I understand,” TJ said, kissing Cyrus’ cheek softly. His voice was shaking, and Cyrus just wanted to hold him close to him. “As long as you need.”

“January 8th?”

TJ smiled and nodded, “January 8th.” Cyrus leaned in to kiss him.

-

Buffy and Andi both stared at a nervous Cyrus as he paced around Andi’s bedroom. He was going to tell them about TJ and what happened the day before and that he now had until the day that was supposed to be their anniversary to tell him if they could get back together again or not. It was a lot considering a few weeks ago he burned a book TJ had given him once.

“What is it, Cyrus?” Buffy asked, leaning back on Andi’s headboard. “You might as well tell us to get it over with.” Cyrus stopped moving and looked directly at his best friends.

“Yeah,” Andi looked up from the sweater she was knitting, “you seem really stressed out.”

“Also, you’ve been avoiding us,” Buffy said, Andi nodding along to what she said. “What mess did you get yourself into, Cyrus?”

“TJ and I have been hanging out,” Cyrus blurted out, closing his eyes shut. He opened them slowly after a few seconds of silence and saw that Buffy was staring blankly in disbelief while Andi’s mouth fell open.

“You’ve _what_!?” Andi yelled. Cyrus regretted everything he’s ever done immediately when he saw Buffy roll her eyes.

“Please don’t be mad at me,” Cyrus said, going over to sit on the bed with them, “we met up a few days ago and things happened.”

“Things happened?” Buffy scoffed, her arms crossed and eyes nowhere near looking at Cyrus. She was angry and her disapproval really hurt Cyrus. He looked at Andi for any type of reassurance, but she also looked disappointed.

“We just kissed and we’ve been hanging out everyday, doing stuff like we would when we were dating.”

“You do know it’s only until you guys go back to school, right?” Andi asked him.

Cyrus shook his head, “He still loves me.”

“No, he doesn’t,” Buffy said with no hesitation.

“He does, Buffy,” Cyrus said before whispering, “and I think I love him, too.” The three stayed silent for a solid minute. Buffy didn’t blink, Andi just stared at Cyrus’ face as if looking for a real answer. But he gave it to him.

“Would you guys do long distance if you guys get back together, then?” Andi finally asked. Cyrus was grateful for Andi. He knew he’d have her support back first.

“Yeah,” Cyrus said. “But all this time, I would rather have that then not have him at all.”

“Is he willing to do long distance this time around?” Andi asked him. Cyrus nodded. “Do you trust him, Cyrus?” Andi asked, getting Buffy to look at him for once.

“Yeah,” Cyrus told them, “I do.”

Buffy sighed, “Well, Cyrus. If you trust him, I do, too.” Cyrus smiled at her until she gave in and smiled back. “But next time, I will beat him up. You won’t be at school with us to stop me.”

-

Cyrus and TJ sat down on TJ’s bed as Cyrus looked around the room. Nothing had really changed in there. All the same posters of singers and basketball players were up, this lone jersey hung up, some medals and trophies were thrown around. He was no stranger to TJ’s world even if it had been months. It was now January 8th.

“Is it weird being in here?” TJ asked him.

“Very,” Cyrus admitted, squeezing TJ’s hand. “Are all the photos of us under your bed?”

“Yeah,” TJ said, leaning his head on Cyrus’. “I couldn’t get rid of them.” Cyrus smiled and turned his head to give TJ and kiss on the cheek before snuggling close to him. Everything about the situation felt safe. He felt safe with TJ. He knew that he wouldn’t hurt him again. Neither of them would be able to handle that. “So,” TJ said softly, “is there anything you want to tell me?”

“Yeah,” Cyrus whispered before turning to look him in the eyes, “I love you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the end of it. i wish i had finished it sooner but yeahhhhhhh

**Author's Note:**

> This will have like 3 or 4 parts. I just wanted to write a Tyrus breakup fic really badly because I'm a sucker for angst.


End file.
